Hi you all,
First, I really need to apologise that my blog hasn't been really informative lately and full of my own drama. I've been really bumped out.
I kind of admitted that yesterday was really hard time and it was killing me if i didn't do anything but blogged it here.
Today is another day I've spent it for trying to figure it out how to get through this hard time of my life. I've talked to a few friends whom I always trust and believe they will be able to help me out. Some said I should simply let it go as life has so many things to concern about - do not let one person bring me down. Some said I should just acquiesce what I've done as I already realised that it wasn't a good thing to do especially when lying someone and what I have to do next is to move forward without letting this become a big obstacle in my life pathway - try to make it better next time. And so many of them told me try to accept some peaceful way of thinking, no grudge, no pessimism or even no attempt to take him back if he is really sure that he doesn't want me anymore in his life then I shouldn't just disturb him with my existence.
I've gone online today for reading some stuff about "ways to end my current sadness" and I've found a lot of interesting stuff but one of them is something really directly related to me. It is one of buddha's teaching and this has made me feel much better so far - surprisingly.
They say Rome wasn't built in a day as well as my sadness and regret that can't be faded in a day but instead of expecting the Rome will be built in a single day why don't I try to find the way to build Rome much faster?
According to "4 ways to end sadness" of lord buddha's teaching, there are 4 elements of sadness which are;
1.) Sadness - the existence of it that keeps you in the ocean of sorrow. The never-ending insistence, the futile hope, anxiety, jealousy, fears and disappointment. These are all sadnesses that leave you a lot of scars.
2.) Cause of Sadness - The core reasons of sadness and depression you have. If you can find this then you can step towards to the next way. For my case, I could say it is the never-ending insistence on someone I really want to spend my entire lovely time with or even take care of. Also I have a terrible anxiety that I will never be forgiven again. These are causes of my sadness.
3.) Sadness comprehension - As well as Mathematics if you understand the problem you will be able to find the way to solve it. If you understand your sadness so well or at least try to understand it using your life experience or your common sense to conquer it. I've tried so hard these past 2 days to let it go and simply just move on - life always comes with many stupid mistakes and if you learn how to acquiesce the situation and keep telling yourself that never repeat it again then it is a very first step that you will soon conquer your sadness. Also, by having someone you really want and care so much, if he is not happy or you can't make him happy, sooner or later you will ruin it all. Learning how to let him go his way and see him be happy from far distance can be a long-term happiness for you because in the end you know that someone you have strong feeling with is being so happy that time that it doesn't matter if it's you or whoever makes him happy - HE IS HAPPY!
4.) Ways to get rid off the sadness - Once you discover the causes of sadness and you understand it thoroughly you will start to think that sadness is all about you who keep creating it - don't blame other people. I don't believe in hell or heaven existence, I believe hell or heaven is something you make up in your head and you let it take control. Start from yourself and then see it out to the bigger scale. All sadness can be controlled by your own conscious and conscience. If you always have these 2 things you won't regret about what you do in the future anymore as conscious makes you always wake up and focus on what you are doing. For conscience, it will guide you to the right way according to your true instinct and always be aware that what you do won't hurt others.
I know these are really difficult things to do as when you are sad, conscious and conscience seem to be the last thing you could come up with but please always think back about all the sadnesses you've been through in the past, regardless how heavy or light they are - You already passed them.
Don't keep yourself in ocean of sadness. Go out and find your own happiness and you will see that life has brought a lot of wonderful things and challenges for you to confront.
I don't know how long my sadness will last but today I've smiled, had a good time and loved myself more and more and I think I've succeeded it in a certain level. I hope you guys out there who have the same problem or even worse will find your ways to end your sadness after reading this entry.
Have a happy day :)
Scott
First, I really need to apologise that my blog hasn't been really informative lately and full of my own drama. I've been really bumped out.
I kind of admitted that yesterday was really hard time and it was killing me if i didn't do anything but blogged it here.
Today is another day I've spent it for trying to figure it out how to get through this hard time of my life. I've talked to a few friends whom I always trust and believe they will be able to help me out. Some said I should simply let it go as life has so many things to concern about - do not let one person bring me down. Some said I should just acquiesce what I've done as I already realised that it wasn't a good thing to do especially when lying someone and what I have to do next is to move forward without letting this become a big obstacle in my life pathway - try to make it better next time. And so many of them told me try to accept some peaceful way of thinking, no grudge, no pessimism or even no attempt to take him back if he is really sure that he doesn't want me anymore in his life then I shouldn't just disturb him with my existence.
I've gone online today for reading some stuff about "ways to end my current sadness" and I've found a lot of interesting stuff but one of them is something really directly related to me. It is one of buddha's teaching and this has made me feel much better so far - surprisingly.
They say Rome wasn't built in a day as well as my sadness and regret that can't be faded in a day but instead of expecting the Rome will be built in a single day why don't I try to find the way to build Rome much faster?
According to "4 ways to end sadness" of lord buddha's teaching, there are 4 elements of sadness which are;
1.) Sadness - the existence of it that keeps you in the ocean of sorrow. The never-ending insistence, the futile hope, anxiety, jealousy, fears and disappointment. These are all sadnesses that leave you a lot of scars.
2.) Cause of Sadness - The core reasons of sadness and depression you have. If you can find this then you can step towards to the next way. For my case, I could say it is the never-ending insistence on someone I really want to spend my entire lovely time with or even take care of. Also I have a terrible anxiety that I will never be forgiven again. These are causes of my sadness.
3.) Sadness comprehension - As well as Mathematics if you understand the problem you will be able to find the way to solve it. If you understand your sadness so well or at least try to understand it using your life experience or your common sense to conquer it. I've tried so hard these past 2 days to let it go and simply just move on - life always comes with many stupid mistakes and if you learn how to acquiesce the situation and keep telling yourself that never repeat it again then it is a very first step that you will soon conquer your sadness. Also, by having someone you really want and care so much, if he is not happy or you can't make him happy, sooner or later you will ruin it all. Learning how to let him go his way and see him be happy from far distance can be a long-term happiness for you because in the end you know that someone you have strong feeling with is being so happy that time that it doesn't matter if it's you or whoever makes him happy - HE IS HAPPY!
4.) Ways to get rid off the sadness - Once you discover the causes of sadness and you understand it thoroughly you will start to think that sadness is all about you who keep creating it - don't blame other people. I don't believe in hell or heaven existence, I believe hell or heaven is something you make up in your head and you let it take control. Start from yourself and then see it out to the bigger scale. All sadness can be controlled by your own conscious and conscience. If you always have these 2 things you won't regret about what you do in the future anymore as conscious makes you always wake up and focus on what you are doing. For conscience, it will guide you to the right way according to your true instinct and always be aware that what you do won't hurt others.
I know these are really difficult things to do as when you are sad, conscious and conscience seem to be the last thing you could come up with but please always think back about all the sadnesses you've been through in the past, regardless how heavy or light they are - You already passed them.
Don't keep yourself in ocean of sadness. Go out and find your own happiness and you will see that life has brought a lot of wonderful things and challenges for you to confront.
I don't know how long my sadness will last but today I've smiled, had a good time and loved myself more and more and I think I've succeeded it in a certain level. I hope you guys out there who have the same problem or even worse will find your ways to end your sadness after reading this entry.
Have a happy day :)
Scott
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